Walking Through A Wall
“There comes a time in a man’s life when to get where he has to — if there are no doors or windows — he walks through a wall.” Bernard Malamud, novelist and short-story writer (1914-1986)
Years ago, I went through a wall of fear with my bike racing. I was a competitive racer, and I was finishing in the top ten places in races of 100 guys. But I wasn’t in the top five. When I confronted myself about why that was, I knew it was because I was holding back. But why? Because then I could tell myself after the race, ‘I could have won, but I didn’t give it everything I had, it wasn’t that important.’ Ever the astute observer of my wily mind, I instantly smelled an excuse. I was protecting my ego from the failure of really trying but still not winning. Well, I wasn’t going to go on being such a coward, so I decided right then and there that I would give everything I had, starting with the next race. My heart pounded with anxiety. At the next race, my stomach was in knots, but I didn’t back down. I finished in the top five! And continued to do so for the rest of the season. Even though I gave it everything I had, I didn’t get first place all that year. But second, third, and fourth place was a whole lot better than seventh or ninth! When I finally got first place, it was one of the proudest moments of my entire life, but going through the wall in my mind was the hardest part.
Where do you have to get to in your life? What is the wall you need to go through? Can you imagine how good you’ll feel when you get through, or how disappointed you will be in yourself if you don’t go through the wall?
Please write your comments and thoughts, I would love to hear from you.
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